Advertising the Savages [As publicity for his first lecture in the East MT prepared the following prospectus of the Sandwich Islands lecture. According to his autobiographical account of the performance, copies of this prospectus were hung in the New York busses on strings in bunches of fifty: "You could see them swinging and dangling around in every omnibus." The list of topics gives us access to the earliest form of the lecture, as MT brought it with him from the West. Source: Walter Frear, Mark Twain and Hawaii .]

COOPER INSTITUTE THE SANDWICH ISLANDS By Invitation of a large number of prominent Californians and Citizens of New York. MARK TWAIN will deliver a SERIO-HUMOROUS LECTURE concerning KANAKADOM or, THE SANDWICH ISLANDS, at COOPER INSTITUTE, On Monday Evening, May 6, 1867 TICKETS FIFTY CENTS. For Sale at Chickering & Sons, 652 Broadway, and at the Principal Hotels. Doors open at 7 o'clock. The Wisdom will begin to flow at 8. In which the following topics will receive marked attention: 1. Horace Greeley and Hank Monk --a topic which is new to Californians-- maybe (sarcasm). 2. Where Kanakadom is situated. 3. What it was situated there for. 4. Its dimensions. 5. What it is made of--and why. 6. Its population, and who killed it. 7. How the natives dress, and, more particularly, how they don't dress. 8. The King. 9. The other natives. 10. The Tabu. 11. The Missionaries. 12. Native hospitality. 13. Native rascality. 14. The multiplicity of mothers. 15. Their talent for dying when they have got ready to die. 16. A singular custom. 17. How they dispose of their dogs. 18. Another singular custom. 19. A wicked slander refuted. 20. Why the natives don't walk much, as a general thing. 21. What becomes of the surplus children. 22. The cheerful spirit of Kanakadom, under any and all circumstances. 23. How they do almost everything wrong-end foremost; however, no attempt will be made to explain this peculiarity. 24. A powerful description of a volcanic eruption. The lecturer knows it is powerful because it has got so many long words in it. 25. The Boo-hoo fever. 26. A word about the religious aspect of Kanakadom. 27. The white people, and their peculiarities. 28. Terrific drinkers. 29. A unpalatable subject. 30. The only joke achieved in Kanakadom after five months of persevering effort. 31. Kanakadom as a really useful and valuable companion purchase to our ornamental Russian Possessions. 32. The style of government, and what became of universal suffrage. 33. Chance for Barnum. 34. Accessories to royalty, and indifference to official distinction. 35. The absurdities of strangers. 36. Passing mention of certain diabolical amateur linguists. 37. Climatic felicities--or facilities-- as you please. 38. The performance to conclude with a joke which cannot fail to amuse such persons as may chance to be amused by it. CAREFULLY ELABORATED JOKES will be attached to each of these thirty-eight subjects--some of them being fearfully and wonderfully made; but everything in the discourse except those jokes, can be relied upon as useful and accurate information. Some little pathos will be infused into this lecture, and persons who are overcome by it, may go out for a few minutes; but no weeping will be allowed on the premises. N.B. This Establishment Advertises where it pleases.