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For a little more than a month, the late Princess--Her
Royal Highness Victoria Kamamalu Kaahumanu, heir
presumptive to the crown and sister to the King--lay in
state at Iolani Palace, the royal residence. For a little
over a month, troops of natives of both sexes, drawn here
from the several islands by the great event, have thronged
past my door every evening on their way to the palace.
Every night, and all night long, for more than thirty days,
multitudes of these strange mourners have burned their
candlenut torches in the royal inclosure, and sung their
funeral dirges, and danced their hula-hulas, and wailed
their harrowing wail for the dead. All this time we
strangers have been consumed with curiosity to look within
those walls and see the pagan deviltry that was going on
there. But the thing was tabu (forbidden--we get our word
"taboo" from the Hawaiian language) to foreigners--haoles.
The grounds were thrown open to everybody the first night,
but several rowdy white people acted so unbecomingly--so
shamefully, in fact--that the King placed a strict tabu
upon their future admittance. I was absent--on the island
of Hawaii--at that time, and so I lost that one single
opportunity to gratify my curiosity in this matter.
Last night was to behold the grand finale, inasmuch as
the obsequies were to transpire today, and therefore I was
a good deal gratified to learn that a few foreigners would
be allowed to enter a side gate and view the performances
in the palace yard from the veranda of Dr. Hutchinson's
house (Minister of the Interior). I got there at a little
after 8 P.M.
NIGHT SCENE IN THE PALACE
GROUNDS
The veranda we occupied overlooked the royal grounds,
and afforded an excellent view of the two thousand or
twenty-five hundred natives sitting, densely packed
together, in the glare of the torches, between our position
and the palace, a hundred feet in front of us. It was a
wild scene--those long rows of eager, dusky faces, with the
light upon them; the band of hula girls in the center,
showily attired in white bodices and pink skirts, and with
wreaths of pink and white flowers and garlands of green
leaves about their heads; and the strongly illuminated
torchbearers scattered far and near at intervals through
the large assemblage and standing up conspicuously above
the masses of sitting forms. Light enough found its way to
the broad verandas of the palace to enable us to see
whatever transpired upon them with considerable
distinctness. We could see nothing there, however, except
two or three native sentries in red uniforms, with gleaming
muskets in their hands.
Presently some one said: "Oh, there's the King!"
"Where?"
"There--on the veranda--now, he's just passing that--No;
it's that blasted Harris."
That isn't really his Christian name, but he is usually
called by that or a stronger one. I state this by way of
explanation. Harris is the Minister of Finance and Attorney
General, and I don't know how many other things. He has
three marked points: He is not a second Solomon; he is as
vain as a peacock; he is as "cheeky" as--however, there is
no simile for his "cheek." In the Legislature, the other
day, the Speaker was trying to seat a refractory member;
the member knew he was strictly in order, though, and that
his only crime was his opposition to the Ministry, and so
he refused to sit down. Harris whispered to the
interpreter: "Tell the Speaker to let me have the chair a
moment." The speaker vacated his place; Harris stepped into
it, rapped fiercely with the gavel, scowled imperiously
upon the intrepid commoner, and ordered him to sit down.
The man declined to do it. Harris commanded the
Sergeant-at-Arms to seat him. After a trial, that officer
said the bold representative of the people refused to
permit him to seat him. Harris ordered the Sergeant to take
the man out of the house--remove him by force! [Sensation--
tempest, I should rather say.] The poor humbled and
browbeaten country members threw off their fears for the
moment and became men; and from every part of the house
they shouted: "Come out of that chair! leave that place!
put him out! put out the --------!" (I have forgotten the
Hawaiian phrase, but it is equivalent to "miserable dog.")
And this terrible man, who was going to perform such
wonders, vacated the Speaker's chair, and went meekly back
to his own place, leaving the stout opponent of the
Ministry master of the field. The Legislature adjourned at
once, and the excited and triumphant Kanakas burst forth
into a stirring battle hymn of the old days of Kamehameha
the Great. Harris was an American once (he was born in
Portsmouth, N. H.) , but he is no longer one. He is
hoopilimeaai to the King. How do you like that, Mr.
H.? How do you like being attacked in your own native
tongue?
(NOTE TO
THE READER: That long native
word means--well, it means Uriah Heep boiled down--it means
the soul and spirit of obsequiousness. No genuine American
can be other than obedient and respectful toward the
Government he lives under and the flag that protects him,
but no such American can ever be hoopilimeaai to
anybody.)
I hope the gentle reader will pardon this digression;
but if the gentle reader don't want to do it, he can let it
alone.
A GLIMPSE OF THE HEATHEN
AGES
About half past eight o'clock a dozen native women rose
up and began the sad mourning rites. They locked arms and
swayed violently backward and forward; faced around and
went through a number of quick gestures with hands, heads,
and bodies; turned and twisted and mingled together--heads
and hands going all the time, and their motions timed to a
weird howling which it would be rather complimentary to
call singing; and finished up spreading their arms abroad
and throwing their heads and bodies far backward
simultaneously, and all uttering a deafening squall at the
same moment.
"Well, if there's anything between the Farallones and
Fiddler's Green as devilish as that, I wish I may--"
"Brown," I said, "these solemn and impressive funeral
rites of the ancient times have been rescued from the
oblivion to which the ignorant missionaries consigned them
forty years ago, by the good and wise Lord Bishop Staley,
and it ill beseems such as you to speak irreverently of
them. I cannot permit you to say more in this vein in my
presence."
When the women had finished, the multitude clapped their
hands boisterously in token of applause.
A number of native boys next stood up and went through a
performance a good deal like that which I have just
described, singing at the same time a strange, unmusical
chant. The audience applauded again. (Harris came out once
more on that part of the veranda which could be seen best
by the great assemblage, and assumed an attitude and
expression so suggestive of his being burdened with the
cares of state of sixty or seventy kingdoms, that, if I had
been a stranger, I must have said to myself "The trifles
Richelieu had to contend with were foolishness to what this
man has got on his hands.")
CHRISTIANITY AND CIVILIZATION IN WARM
QUARTERS
Next, about twenty native women dressed in black rose up
and sang some hymns like ours, but in the Kanaka tongue,
and made good music of them. Some of the voices were very
rich and sweet, the harmony was excellent and the time
perfect. Every now and then, while this choir sang (and, in
fact, all the evening), old-time natives scattered through
the crowd would suddenly break out into a wild heartbroken
wail that would almost startle one's pulse into stillness.
And there was one old fellow near the center who would get
up often, no matter what was going on, and branch forth
into a sort of singsong recitation, which he would
eventually change into a stump speech; he seemed to make a
good many hits judging by the cordial applause he got from
a coterie of admirers in his immediate vicinity.
MORE HEATHEN DEVILTRY
A dozen men performed next--howled and distorted their
bodies and flung their arms fiercely about, like very
maniacs.
"God bless my soul, just listen at that racket! Your
opinion is your opinion, and I don't quarrel with it; and
my opinion is my opinion; and I say, once for all, that if
I was Mayor of this town I would just get up here and read
the Riot Act once, if I died for it the next--"
"Brown, I cannot allow this language. These touching
expressions of mourning were instituted by the good bishop,
who has come from his English home to teach this poor
benighted race to follow the example and imitate the
sinless ways of the Redeemer, and did not he mourn for the
dead Lazarus? Do not the sacred scriptures say 'Jesus
wept'?"
I overheard this person Brown muttering something about
the imitation being rather overdone or improved on, or
something of that kind, but I paid no attention to it. The
man means well; his ignorance is his misfortune--not his
crime.
Twenty Kanakas in striped knit shirts now filed through
the dense crowd and sat down in a double row on the ground;
each bore an immense gourd, more than two feet long, with a
neck near one end and a head to it; the outer, or largest
end, was a foot in diameter; these things were dry and
hollow, and are the native tom-toms or drums. Each man set
his gourd on end, and supported it with a hand on each
side; at a given signal every drummer launched out into a
dismal chant and slapped his drum twice in quick succession
with his open hands; then three times; then twice again;
then--well, I cannot describe it; they slapped the drums in
every conceivable way, and the sound produced was as dull
and dry as if the drums had been solid stone; then they
held them above their heads a few moments, or over their
shoulders, or in front of their faces, or behind their
necks, and then brought them simultaneously to the gound
with a dead, hollow thump; and then they went on slapping
them as before. They kept up this most dreary and
unexciting performance for twenty minutes or more, and the
great concourse of natives watched every motion with rapt
and eager admiration, and loudly applauded the
musicians.
Brown muttered (under the vile pretense of not intending
to be overheard) : "Jesus wept."
"Brown," I said, "your conduct is shameful. It has
always been conceded that in following the example set us
by the Savior we may be allowed some latitude. But I will
not argue with a man who is so bigoted, faultfinding, and
uncharitable. I will have nothing further to say to you
upon this subject."
"He--he wept."
I thought I heard those words, but Brown's head was out
of the window, and I was not certain. I was already
irritated to that degree that to speak would be to lose my
temper, and therefore I allowed the suspected mutinous
language to pass unnoticed.
THE CELEBRATED NATIONAL DANCE
("HULA-HULA")
After the drumming came the famous hula-hula we had
heard so much about and so longed to see--the lascivious
dance that was wont to set the passions of men ablaze in
the old heathen days, a century ago. About thirty buxom
young Kanaka women, gaily attired as I have before
remarked, in pink and white, and with heads wreathed with
flowers and evergreens, formed themselves into half a dozen
rows of five or six in a row, shook the reefs out of their
skirts, tightened their girdles and began the most
unearthly caterwauling that was ever heard, perhaps; the
noise had a marked and regular time to it, however, and
they kept strict time to it with writhing bodies; with
heads and hands thrust out to the left; then to the right;
then a step to the front and the left hands all projected
simultaneously forward, and the right hands placed on the
hips; then the same repeated with a change of hands; then a
mingling together of the performers--quicker time, faster
and more violently excited motions--more and more
complicated gestures--(the words of their fierce chant
meantime treating in broadest terms, and in detail, of
things which may be vaguely hinted at in a respectable
newspaper, but not distinctly mentioned)--then a convulsive
writhing of the person, continued for a few moments and
ending in a sudden stop and a grand caterwaul in chorus
(great applause).
"Jesus wept."
I barely heard the words, and that was all. They sounded
like blasphemy. I offered no rebuke to the utterer, because
I could not disguise from myself that the gentle grief of
the Savior was but poorly imitated here--that the heathen
orgies resurrected by the Lord Bishop of Honolulu were not
warranted by the teachings of the Master whom he professes
to serve.
Minister Harris emerging from the Palace veranda at this
moment with the weight of his sixty kingdoms bearing down
on him heavier than ever, and it being past midnight, I
judged it time to go home, and I did so.
WHOSE CIRCUS IT WAS
It is reported that the King has said: "The foreigners
like their religion--let them enjoy it, and freely. But the
religion of my fathers is good enough for me." Now that is
all right. At least I think so. And I have no fault to find
with the natives for the lingering love they feel for their
ancient customs. But I do find fault with Bishop Staley for
reviving those customs of a barbarous age at a time when
they had long been abandoned and were being forgotten--when
one more generation of faithful adherence to the teachings
of the American missionaries would have buried them forever
and made them memories of the past--things to be talked of
and wondered at, like the old laws that made it death for a
plebeian to stand erect in the presence of his king, or for
a man to speak to his wife on a tabu day--but never
imitated.
For forty years before the bishop brought his Royal
Hawaiian Established Reformed Catholic Church here, the
kings and chiefs of this land had been buried with the
quiet, simple, Christian rites that are observed in England
and America, and no man thought of anything more being
necessary. But one of the first things Bishop Staley did
when he arrived here a few years ago was to write home that
the missionaries had deprived the natives of their innocent
sports and pastimes (such as the lascivious hula- hula, and
the promiscuous bathing in the surf of nude natives of
opposite sexes), and one of the next things he did was to
attend a hula-hula at Waikiki with his holy head tricked
out in the flower and evergreen trumpery worn by the hula
girls. When the late king died, the bishop revived the
half-forgotten howling and hula dancing and other
barbarisms in the palace yard, and officiated there as a
sort of master of ceremonies. For many a year before he
came, that wretchedest of all wretched musical abortions,
the tom-tom, had not been heard near the heart of Honolulu;
but he has reinstated it and brought it into its ancient
esteem and popularity. The old superstitions of this people
were passing away far faster than is the case with the
inhabitants of the unfrequented and sparsely populated
country districts of America, France, and Wales, but Bishop
Staley is putting a stop to progress in this direction.
We owe the strange and unpleasant scenes of last night
to him--there are not ten white men in the kingdom who have
ever seen their like before in public--and I am told that
he is appalled at the work of his own hands--that he is
ashamed--that he dreads to think of the comments it will
provoke in Christian lands--in a word, that he finds, too
late, that he has made a most melancholy blunder.
BISHOP STALEY
If I may speak freely, I think this all comes of
elevating a weak, trivial-minded man to a position of rank
and power--of making a bishop out of very inferior
material--of trying to construct greatness out of
constitutional insignificance. My estimate of Bishop Staley
is not carelessly formed; there is evidence to back it. He
gossips habitually; he lacks the common wisdom to keep
still that deadly enemy of a man, his own tongue; he says
ill-advised things in public speeches, and then in other
public speeches denies that he ever said them; he shows
spite, a trait which is not allied to greatness; he is fond
of rushing into print, like mediocrity the world over, and
is vainer of being my Lord Bishop over a diocese of fifteen
thousand men and women (albeit they belong to other
people's churches) than some other men would be of wielding
the worldwide power of the Pope; and finally, every single
important act of his administration has evinced a lack of
sagacity and an unripeness of judgment which might be
forgiven a youth, but not a full-grown man--or, if that
seems too severe, which might be forgiven a restless,
visionary nobody, but not a bishop. My estimate of Bishop
Staley may be a wrong one, but it is at least an honest
one.
Persons who are intimate with Bishop Staley say he is a
good man, and a well educated and cultivated one, and that
in social life he is companionable, pleasant, and liberal
spirited when church matters are not the topic of
conversation. This is no doubt true; but it is my province
to speak of him in his official, not in his private
capacity. He has shown the temerity of an incautious,
inexperienced, and immature judgment in rushing in here
fresh from the heart and home of a high English
civilization and throwing down the gauntlet of defiance
before a band of stern, tenacious, unyielding, tireless,
industrious, devoted old Puritan knights who have seen
forty years of missionary service; whose time was never
fooled away in theorizing, but whose lightest acts always
meant business; who landed here two score years ago, full
of that fervent zeal and resistless determination inherited
from their Pilgrim fore-fathers, and marched forth and
seized upon this people with a grip of iron, and infused
into their being, wrought into their very natures, the
spirit of democracy and the religious enthusiasm that
animated themselves; whose grip is still upon the race and
can never be loosened till they, of their own free will and
accord, shall relax it. He showed a marvelous temerity--one
weak, inexperienced man against a host of drilled and hardy
veterans; and among them great men--men who would be great
in wider and broader spheres than that they have chosen
here. He miscalculated the force, the confidence, the
determination of that Puritan spirit which subdued America
and underlies her whole religious fabric today--which has
subdued these islanders, and whose influence over them can
never be unseated.
THE REFORMED CATHOLIC CHURCH--THE
"COURT RELIGION"
His church was another miscalculation. It was a mistake
to appeal by imposing ceremonies and showy display to a
people imbued with a thorough Puritan distaste for such
things, and who had never been much accustomed to anything
of the kind at any period of their history. There is little
in common between the simple evergreen decorations and the
tom-toms and the hula-hulas of the natives, and the cheap
magnificence of the bishop's cathedral altar, his gaudily
painted organ pipes and the monotonous and unattractive
ceremonials of his church service.
He is fighting with good nerve, but his side is weak.
The moneyed strength of these islands--their agriculture,
their commerce, their mercantile affairs--is in the hands
of Americans--republicans; the religious power of the
country is wielded by Americans-- republicans; the whole
people are saturated with the spirit of democratic
Puritanism, and they are--republicans. This is a republic,
to the very marrow, and over it sit a King, a dozen Nobles
and half a dozen Ministers. The field of the Royal Hawaiian
Established Church is thus so circumscribed that the little
cathedral in Nuuanu Street, with its thirty pews of ten
individual capacity each, is large enough to accommodate it
in its entirety, and have room to spare.
And this is the bugbear that has kept the American
missionaries in hot water for three or four years! The
Bishop of Honolulu ought to feel flattered that a chance so
slim as his, and a power so feeble as his, has been able to
accomplish it. But at the same time he ought to feel
grateful, because, if let alone, he and his church must
infallibly have been and remained insignificant. I do not
say this ill-naturedly, for I bear the Bishop no malice,
and I respect his sacred office; I simply state a palpable
fact.
I will say a word or two about the Reformed Catholic
Church, to the end that strangers may understand its
character. Briefly, then, it is a miraculous invention. One
might worship this strange production itself without
breaking the first commandment, for there is nothing like
it in the heavens above or in the earth beneath, or in the
water under the earth. The Catholics refuse to accept it as
Catholic, the Episcopalians deny that it is the church they
are accustomed to, and of course the Puritans claim no
kindred with it. It is called a child of the Established
Church of England, but it resembles its parent in few
particulars. It has got an altar which is gay with fiery
velvet, showy white trimmings, vases of flowers, and other
mantel ornaments. (It was once flanked by imposing, seven-
branched candlesticks, but these were obnoxious and have
been removed.) Over it is a thing like a gilt signboard, on
which is rudely painted two processions--four personages in
each--marching solemnly and in single file toward the
crucified Savior in the center, and bringing their baggage
with them. The design of it is a secret known only to the
artist and his Maker. Near the pulpit is a red canopied
shower bath--I mean it looks like one--upon which is
inscribed, "Separated unto the Gospel of God." The bishop
sits under it at a small desk, when he has got nothing
particular to do. The organ pipes are colored with a
groundwork of blue, which is covered all over with a flower
work wrought in other colors. Judging by its striking
homeliness, I should say that the artist of the altar piece
had labored here also. Near the door of the church, but
inside, of course, stands a small pillar, surmounted by a
large shell. It may be for holy water or it may be a
contribution box. If the latter be the case, I must protest
that this ghastly pun--this mute suggestion to shell
out--is ill suited to the sacred character of the place,
and it is only with the profoundest pain that I force
myself to even think for a moment upon so distressing a
circumstance. Against the wall is a picture of the future
cathedral of Honolulu--a more imposing structure than the
present one; that many a year may elapse before it is built
is no wish of mine. A dozen acolytes--Chinese, Kanaka, and
half-white boys, arrayed in white robes, hold positions
near the altar, and during the early part of the service
they sing and go through some performances suggestive of
the regular Catholic services; after that, the majority of
the boys go off on furlough. The bishop reads a chapter
from the Bible; then the organist leaves his instrument and
sings a litany peculiar to this church, and not to be heard
elsewhere; there is nothing stirring or incendiary about
his mild, nasal music; the congregation join the chorus;
after this a third clergyman preaches the sermon; these
three ecclesiastics all wear white surplices. I have
described the evening services. When the bishop first came
here, he indulged in a good deal of showy display and
ceremony in his church, but these proved so distasteful,
even to Episcopalians, that he shortly modified them very
much.
I have spoken rather irreverently once or twice in the
above paragraph, and am ashamed of it. But why write it
over? I would not be likely to get it any better. I might
make the matter worse.
"And say that--"
"Brown, have you, in defiance of all my reproofs, been
looking over my shoulder again?"
"Yes, but that's all right, you know--that's all right.
Just say--just say that the bishop works as hard as any
man, and makes the best fight he can--and that's a credit
to him, anyway."
"Brown, that is the first charitable sentiment I have
ever heard you utter. At a proper moment I will confer upon
you a fitting reward for it. But for the present, good
night, son. Go, now. Go to your innocent slumbers. And wash
your feet, Brown--or perhaps it is your teeth--at any rate
you are unusually offensive this evening. Remedy the
matter. Never mind explaining--good night."
THE ROMAN CATHOLIC MISSION
The French Roman Catholic Mission here, under the Right
Reverend Lord Bishop Maigret, goes along quietly and
unostentatiously; and its affairs are conducted with a
wisdom which betrays the presence of a leader of
distinguished ability. The Catholic clergy are honest,
straightforward, frank, and open; they are industrious and
devoted to their religion and their work; they never
meddle; whatever they do can be relied on as being prompted
by a good and worthy motive. These things disarm
resentment--prejudice cannot exist in their presence.
Consequently, Americans are never heard to speak ill or
slightingly of the French Catholic Mission. Their religion
is not nondescript--it is plain, out-and-out, undisguised,
and unmistakable Catholicism. You know right where to find
them when you want them. The American missionaries have no
quarrel with these men; they honor and respect and esteem
them--and bid them Godspeed. There is an anomaly for
you--Puritan and Roman Catholic striding along, hand in
hand, under the banner of the Cross!
MARK TWAIN
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