" P U D D ' N H E A D    W I L S O N "

ACT III.

SCENE: Wilson's office as before
DISCOVERED: Patsy enters L.3.E. X C.R.
TIME: Morning. (Lights: ambers and reds)
MUSIC: Singing in distance. Out R.

Patsy
          (Goes to desk R.)
Not yet back and this his tenth day away.
          (C.)
Now why couldn't he tell me where he was going.

          (Enter Rowy L.U.E.)

Rowy
          (C.)
Has he returned yet? Has Uncle Dave come back?

Patsy
          (R.C.)
How should I know?
          (As if about to cry)
Does he ever tell me anything?

Rowy
          (X R. Going to window R.)
Said he'd be back this morning sure.

Patsy
          (Coming C.L.)
Oh! I suppose he told you not to tell me, humph, but I want him to come just to see the mess he has made with his meddling.

Rowy
          (R.)
What mess, Maw?
          (Comes C.)

Patsy
          (L.C.)
Hasn't Judge Driscoll gone and challenged the Count?

Rowy
Oh! that's because he kicked Tom Driscoll.

Patsy
And all brought about by your uncle's meddling in the affairs of that old robber Roxy. And now that Chambers has gone and run away with her –
          (Rowy laughs aside, crosses C., picks up book at table C.)
Sheriff Blake says he's in it just as deep as his mother.

Rowy
          (C.)
Then Sheriff Blake and every one in Dawson is a – don't know what they're talking about. Why don't they suspect me, they might as well.
          (Crossing to Cabinet L.)

Patsy
          (C.)
Hold your tongue. What do you know about it?

Rowy
          (Turns L.C. near cabinet)
I know this, that that boy Chambers would sooner cut off his arm than do a dishonest action. And I'm going to defend him against these slanders. As he defended me against the insults of Tom Driscoll.

Patsy
Hey? What's that? What's Tom Driscoll been saying to you?

Rowy
Well, you ask my uncle.

Patsy
          (L.C.)
You reckon I'd waste my breath asking him anything? Tell me this minute what Tom Driscoll said to you or I'll march right over and ask him myself.
          (Going to D.R.3.E.)

Rowy
          (X up L.)
Can't Maw.

Patsy
          (Up R.C.)
Why?

Rowy
          (L.)
Tom's gone to St. Louis.

Patsy
Oh! I wonder if he really has gone there this time.
          (Coming C.)

Rowy
          (Crossing to her C.)
What do you mean, Maw?

Patsy
Ask your uncle.
          (X L.3.E. Rowy crosses R. Blake passes window back)

          (Enter Blake R.U.E.)

Blake
          (C.)
Morning ladies. Aunt Patsy – where's Dave?

Patsy
          (Up L.)
Ask your uncle.
          (Exits L.U.E. in rage)

Blake
Hey? What's the matter with your Maw, Rowy?

Rowy
          (R.)
Only cross, cause Judge Driscoll's challenged the count.

Blake
Oh! yes, powerful bad feeling set in agin them twins. I suppose you know that yarn they been telling about that knife they pretended to have lost.

Rowy
          (R.)
Pretend – why they did lose it. It was stolen from their boxes in my uncle's office.

Blake
          (C. Mysteriously)
Did you ever see the knife?

Rowy
No, I never saw it.

Blake
Did any one else ever see it?

Rowy
What do you mean?

Blake
Don't believe there ever was such a knife.

Rowy
What?

Blake
You see – Tom Driscoll, he gave the whole thing away. One of them twins, the oldest I believe, once killed a man and with a knife. Ever since he has been brooding over his crime and that is why they go about from place to place –
          (Touches his forehead.)
– always hunting for a knife – a lost knife.
          (Crosses R.)

Rowy
          (R. Crosses C.)
Oh! that's the way of it, is it?

Blake
          (R.)
Well, that's the way I heard it.

Rowy
That's the way you heard – Well you better get things straight before you tell them again, and I'd just like to know what put it into your head to suspect that boy Chambers.

Blake
          (R.C.)
What in thunder did he run away for?

          (Enter Wilson L. Passes window.)

Rowy
          (L.)
Didn't run away, mor'n my uncle did.

          (Enter Wilson R.U.E. X C.)

Blake
Hello, Dave.

Rowy
          (Runs to him and kisses him. Up C.)
Oh! Uncle Dave I'm so glad you've come back.
          (Enter Patsy L.U.E. She stands rigidly at door.)
Oh, Maw, here's Uncle Dave.

Wilson
          (C.)
How do, Patsy?

Blake
          (Up R.C.)
You said you wanted to see me, Dave.

Patsy
          (Up L. sternly)
Dave Wilson.

Blake
Hey?
          (All look at her)

Patsy
          (Up L.)
Have you had any breakfast this morning?
          (Almost weeping)

Wilson
          (C.)
No I've been so busy I forgot it.

Patsy
Thank you for that much confidence at least.
          (Going L.U.E.)

Rowy
          (Running over to her L.)
Want me to help you maw?

Patsy
Ask your uncle.
          (Exit L.U.E.)

Rowy
          (Smothered laugh aside to Dave)
Oh you just wait till she gets you alone.
          (Comes down L.)

Wilson
          (C.L. Bus[iness]: with papers – takes them from pocket.)
Sheriff, I've got to see Judge Driscoll before I can say what I wanted to.

Blake
          (R.C.)
Anything about Roxy and her boy?

Wilson
Yes.

Blake
Boys will make it mightly hot for him if he gets ketched. You know he laid violent hands on Tom Driscoll

          (Rowy starts to speak and is stopped by a look from Wilson)

Wilson
          (C.L. Looking at Rowy.)
How was that, Sheriff?

Blake
          (R.)
Why Miss Rowy, you ought to know about that. Tom said it was all about you. Says the niggar was sassy to you.
          (Cross R.)

Rowy
          (Crossing as if to go to Blake)
Now, I'm mad.
          (Putting out her hand, Wilson takes her hand.)

Wilson
          (Count four)
Sheriff, I may want you to go to St. Louis, – officially of course.

Blake
          (Pleased)
Ain't been in St. Louis for mor'n a year now.
          (Wilson looks at him)
Oh! I can get ready. Got to see the Judge first though about ketching that boy.
          (Working up R.)
          (Wilson sits L. at table)
No he ain't offered no reward yet. I advised him about it. Judge mighty cranky about it yesterday though.
          (Going R.U.E.)

Rowy
          (X up C. Enjoying it)
What did he say Sheriff?

Blake
          (R. Both up stage)
Who, Judge?

Rowy
          (C. Laughing)
Yes.

Blake
          (Working up to door R.)
Well he wasn't over polite about it, I must say.
          (In door R.U.E.)

Rowy
What did he say?

Blake
Well, I suppose he knows he's Judge. Said – I could go to –
          (Exit R.3.E.)

Rowy
Did Chambers come back with you?

Wilson
          (Seated L. at table.)
No, I left him in St. Louis to watch Tom.

Rowy
          (Back of his chair)
Watch Tom!

Wilson
Yes.
          (Cross C. Just L. of C. table)
I've shown all the consideration for that young man I intend to. His offensive language to you has turned the natural current of my usually gentle dispositions into a riotous torrent and nothing shall assuage it until I have landed that young man in prison.
          (Takes bill from pocket.)

Rowy
          (L.C.)
Tom Driscoll in prison?

Wilson
Thomas À Becket Driscoll is altogether useless on top of ground. He ought to be under it inspiring the cabbages. Here is something I intend to call his uncle's attention to. When, if he fails to make a complaint, I shall. And that is what will take Sheriff Blake to St. Louis.
          (He hands her the circular.)

Rowy
What's that?
Wilson
          (Sit L. of table C.)
A circular, offering a reward of one hundred dollars for the capture of a runaway nigger.

Rowy
Doesn't mean Chambers, does it?

Wilson
This is a woman, the property of John Moorehead.

Rowy
          (L.C.)
Who's he?

Wilson
          (L. of table)
A down river planter.

Rowy
          (Over to him – over his shoulder.)
Who's the woman?

Wilson
Roxy.

Rowy
Roxy! Why I thought she was free.
          (Go L. a little)

Wilson
So did I. Seems different here though.

Rowy
          (Looking at hand bill)
Oh! Can't be the same Uncle Dave. Must be some mistake.

Wilson
No there isn't. I've been making some inquiries in St. Louis where I found that Tom owed this man Moorehead a gambling debt of $650.00.

Rowy
Oh! Uncle Dave, you don't believe –

Wilson
Yes, I do, I believe that Tom Driscoll kidnapped Roxy and sold her to John Moorehead to pay that debt.

Rowy
Oh! What makes you think that?

Wilson
This –
          (Reads)
The above reward will be paid by applying to Thomas A. Driscoll, and see, this is his address in St. Louis.

Rowy
Oh, my, did you know the Judge had driven him from his home?

          (Twins pass C. window from L.)

Wilson
          (Rise)
Yes, and I'll bet he's torn up another will. That has been the Judge's pasttime for years, but he'll be fattening the calf presently for the prodigal's return.
          (Rises and crosses R. go up C.)

Rowy
          (Following Wilson up L.C.)
I don't know about that. I don't reckon Judge was ever so angry before.
(Enter Luiji and Angelo R. 3 E. They are very excited and come down R. C.)
Wilson
Good morning gentlemen. Rowy didn't I hear your maw say something about breakfast? And I'm just beginning to remember that I'm hungry.

Rowy
          (Up L.)
I'll hurry it. Excuse me gentlemen.
          (Exits L.U.E.)

Wilson
          (C.)
Everything is arranged. The meeting it to take place at four P.M.

Luiji
          (R.C.)
The sooner the better. The affair once over we shall leave Dawson.

Wilson
          (C.)
I don't believe I would allow myself to be driven out of town by such a fellow as Tom Driscoll

Angelo
          (R.)
We give no thought to him – but his uncle –

Wilson
Nor his uncle either. Oh, the Judge is a nice man, but he isn't infallible, and I propose to lift my voice against this crowding out process. They started in once on me, that way, some years ago, but I haven't gone yet and I still live in the hopes of making my presence felt in this self-satisfied community. I have counted a little on your aid in this missionary work.

Angelo
          (R.)
We cannot walk the streets without insults.

Luiji
          (R.C.)
Even the possession of the knife such as we have lost is questioned.

Wilson
          (C.)
Oh yes, I know the source of that tale.

Angelo
Ah! you know?

Luiji
Who dares?

Wilson
No use seeking redress from that quarter though. A fellow who won't fight for being kicked isn't going to let a little matter like this stimulate his courage.

Angelo
It was he?

Luiji
Young Mr. Driscoll?

Wilson
Hit it both, first time gentlemen.

Luiji
But his uncle, can he believe –

Wilson
The Judge's insane admiration for that calf is a prejudice too deep for my plumbing.

          (Enter Rowy L.3.E.)

Rowy
          (At door)
Breakfast, uncle.
          (Coming L.C.)

Wilson
          (C.)
That sounds more agreeable.
          (X up L.C.)

Rowy
          (Up L. Aside to Wilson)
Oh, isn't maw just waiting for you?

Wilson
          (Aside to Rowy)
Is she? Come in gentlemen, I may need your protection.
          (Going to L.3.E. Wilson and twins start for L.U. Rowy cross R.)
Count, I have got your brother's, but I haven't your thumb yet.

Rowy
          (R.C.)
How has he escaped so long, I wonder.

Wilson
So do I.

          (Exit Wilson, (1); Luiji (2); Angelo (3). L.3.E.)

Rowy
          (R.C.)
Oh, if Chambers ever sees that handbill, oh!
          (C.)

          (Enter Driscoll R.3.E.)

Driscoll
          (R.C.)
Good morning, Rowy. Sheriff Blake said your uncle wanted to see me.

Rowy
          (L.C.)
He has just sat down to breakfast.

Driscoll
          (R.C.)
Well, don't disturb him – I'll –
          (As if to go – returns.)
Rowy, what do you think now of that ingrate, Chambers, to scamper off in that way? Is it true that he was impudent to you?

Rowy
          (L.C.)
Now who told you that?

Driscoll
          (Up C.R.)
Blake, not five minutes ago.

Rowy
Oh! But that Sheriff Blake is a fool. Chambers was never impudent to anyone, much less to me.

Driscoll
          (C. Taking her hands)
Well, I'm mighty glad to know that. I reckon, Rowy, that boy always belonged more to you than to anybody else.

          (Enter Howard R.3.E., hastily.)

Howard
          (R.C.)
Good morning, Rowy

Rowy
          (Crossing L.U.)
Good morning! Judge, I'll tell uncle you are here.
          (Up to door L.)

Driscoll
          (C.)
Let him finish his breakfast first, Rowy.
          (Cross L. and back to C.)
          (Exit Rowy L.3.E. Howard goes down R.)
Well, Howard, is everything arranged?
          (Coming to C.)

Howard
          (R.)
That's just what I have come to tell you, I suppose you know Wilson is the Count's second.

Driscoll
          (L.C.)
Yes I know. And to think that Tom missed a chance like this and what do you think? The scoundrel has dared to write to me.
          (Taking letter from his pocket)

Howard
What does he say?

Driscoll
What! Do you think I read his letter? No!
          (As if he would tear it.)

Howard
          (Restraining him)
I reckon I wouldn't* if I were you. I am sure he must suffer keenly. But you have some business with Wilson.
          (Going R.3.E.)
York, you must not face the Count with this on your mind. I'll wait for you over the way. I would read Tom's letter.
          (Exit R.3.E.)

Driscoll
          (C.)
I suppose, I must. If only to find more evidence of his ourrish nature.
          (Opens letter – reads.)
"My honored Uncle:" – His honored, you villain! "I may never see you again."
          (Wipes his eyes.)
"But I can endure it no longer. You believe me a coward – that I feared to meet this Italian adventurer – But at even of the risk of betraying a confidence, I must tell you. No gentleman could afford to meet that man on a field of honor!"
Hey, what? What's that? General Jackson! And I have challenged the fellow!
          (Goes to window R.2. E. and calls:)
Here Howard! Howard Pembroke, come over here! Come quick!
          (Goes to R. reads)
"This pretended Count is an assassin!" General Jackson! "This I learned by an accident when he was making a confession of his crime to Dave Wilson. Forgive me, if I am wrong in betraying it, even to you, but I cannot live and permit you to think one of your blood is a coward.
"Your unhappy nephew."
Oh! My poor boy!
          (Goes to L.)

          (Enter Howard R.3.E.)

Howard
          (Down R.C.)
What is it, Tom's letter?

Driscoll
          (X C. front of table.)
Yes, and it's all right. Embrace me, my friend, embrace me. I have wronged him. He is not [the] poltroon we thought him. It is a heart of gold. He has acted like a Cavalier. Like a Knight of old. He has acted like a Driscoll, sah. He is my nephew, sah.
          (Dances about. Howard does the same. Howard L. Driscoll R.)

Howard
But what explanations can I make to Wilson?

Driscoll
He will, I dare say, tell you why York Driscoll cannot meet Count Luiji on the field of honor.

          (Enter Wilson L.3.E.)

Wilson
          (L.C.)
Good morning, Judge.
          (Sees Howard L.)
If you don't object –
          (To Howard)
I would like to see the Judge alone.
          (Turns up C. to window – Driscoll turns R.)

Howard
          (L.)
One moment, Mr. Wilson. Do you know of a reason why York Driscoll should refuse to meet the Count?

Wilson
          (C.)
Hey – well the Count's an orphan –

Driscoll
          (R.C. coming over to Wilson C.)
I see, I see, that will do.
          (Shaking hands with Wilson.)
You shall not be urged. I see – Tom's views are yours.

Wilson
          (X L.C. Howard X up C.)
Not by a damn sight!

Driscoll
          (C. going R.U. and returns.)
Not another word. You know there are reasons why no gentleman can afford to meet the Count Luiji on the field of honor.

Wilson
          (C. back of table. Holding up handbill which he takes from table.)
But Judge, here is a matter.

Driscoll
          (To Howard, not heeding Wilson.)
I shall re-write my will tonight.
          (Coming down, takes Wilson's hand.)
Dave Wilson, you have risen in my estimation one hundred per cent.
          (Exit R.D.F)

Wilson
          (L.C. up)
Well, you haven't in mine.

Howard
          (Up R. Crossing R.C.)
Do you gather anything from this?

Wilson
          (Down C.)
Yes, Tom has been lying again.

Howard
          (R.C.)
Sir, you should be more guarded in your remarks.

Wilson
No I shouldn't either. My arraignment of Tom Driscoll's veracity is altogether a premeditated matter. He is a liar from the foundation of his nature.

Howard
Hush! sh – sh – sh.

Wilson
I'm not going to hush sh – sh either. I have lived long enough now in this community to speak my mind freely.

Howard
          (R.)
Really, your defense of the Count –

Wilson
          (C.)
I'm not defending the Count. He's quite capable of doing his own talking. This is a matter personal to me and to my family, and one for which Tom Driscoll must atone. Not as a gentleman either, for I reckon his recent conduct has placed him beyond the pale of that consideration.

Howard
Are you aware that you are speaking to his friend, sir? To the friend of his family?

Wilson
That is why I do not speak in an undertone.

Howard
You wish me to convey your words to Judge Driscoll?

Wilson
If you don't object.

Howard
Today, sir.

          (Exit R.3.E. In pompous indignation)

Wilson
          (Crossing up R.C. Imitating his manner.)
Good day, sir. I reckon the Judge will give me his attention, now.
          (Puts handbill in pocket. Goes to cabinet L.)
          (Enter Luiji L.3.E. Goes towards R.3.E.)
No occasion to rush matters Count. The Judge has refused to fight you.

Luiji
          (X down R.)
Refused? On what pretext?

          (L.)
Wilson
Well, as near as I can discover, because you are an orphan.

Luiji
Oh! Such an evasion. I will see him at once.
          (Going up R.)

Wilson
          (L.)
Don't go without giving me your thumb mark.

Luiji
Oh, pardon.
(Goes over L. to Wilson. Wilson holds glass and Luiji gives his mark –
Label it and put it in rack. L.)
Wilson
That's good! Fine! Thank you.
          (Luiji crosses R.U. Wilson places glass in cabinet.)
Going to call on Driscoll?

Luiji
This instant.
          (X to D.F. Exit R..E.)

Wilson
          (Taking out two glasses to table. C.)
I hope they'll keep the peace. There is something wrong in Tom Driscoll's make-up.
          (Wilson at table C. Waits – takes out a glass.)
(Enter Rowy L.3.E. comes down R. of Wilson to C.
Wilson is examining glasses with magnifying glass.)
Rowy
What have you got there, Uncle Dave?

Wilson
          (Back of table C.)
Something that will interest you Rowy. These are the thumb marks of Tom and Chambers when they were babies. I got them the morning Tom was christened. Look.

Rowy
          (R. of him.)
What's to see?

Wilson
          (Giving her magnifying glass.)
Take this glass – you see one is labelled Tom and the other Chambers.

Rowy
Yes.
          (Reads on glass.)
May 19th, 1836. Oh! that's a long time ago. Have you kept these all this time?

Wilson
Yes. Can you distinguish a difference?

Rowy
Plainly. How funny. Not a bit alike, are they?

                                                      (WARN CURTAIN)

Wilson
You think you could tell them apart if they were not labelled?

Rowy
I'm sure I could. Oh! my, do all thumbs make marks like that?

Wilson
Yes, and the wonder of it is, there are no two in the world alike.
          (X L. He gets two more from cabinet. X C. to table.)
I have them again when they were seven years old. I'll cover the labels and see if you can tell me which is Tom's.
          (He holds his hand over labels, she looks through magnifying glass.)

Rowy
          (Taking magnifying glass, looks.)
This one.

Wilson
Wrong.
          (Uncovers the labels.)
Read the labels.

Rowy
Oh! I don't care for the labels. You take the glass yourself and if the one marked Chambers there, is not like the one marked Tom here, then I'll just have to agree with maw that your theory is all nonsense.

Wilson
I'm afraid you are an incorrigible little heathen, Rowy.
          (Takes the two glasses and holds them up.)
Well! by the great constitution of these United States! You're right. Now what does this mean. I never mislabelled one of those plates in all my life. Wait a minute. I have them here again when they were twelve years of age.
          (Goes to Cabinet, L. takes glass, compares the seven year and twelve year glasses.)
They are alike.
(He smiles at Rowy. Picks up third glass, compares it with the other two. Finds they are different. Crosses R.C., goes up stage, Rowy follows him anxiously. Turns and lifts the glasses over his head as if to break them. Rowy catches his arm.)
Rowy
Oh! Uncle, don't break them.
(She pulls his arm slowly down and takes glasses out of his hand. Wilson walks slowly to chair R. of table. Rowy walks back of table and places glasses on table, watching Wilson all the time. Wilson sinks slowly in chair R. of table.)
Wilson
I reckon the boys were not so wrong after all when they christened me Pudd'nhead.

– C U R T A I N –



Homepage Next Page